Trying to sum up what may have been the end of my run at Amazon.  It kind of resembled getting really close to going all the way with your partner, but then your ding dong just stops working properly so that kind of sets you back.  

In this case, the ding dong, metaphorically speaking, is my body, and going all the way, metaphorically speaking, is getting that elusive promotion. 

Though I never received my interview feedback from my last couple of interviews, which I was supposed to get, I believe I had all the tools and was really close, but as I discussed with a few others, it is hard to showcase what you can do when you are working in an environment that seemingly wants to destroy you and make you physically and mentally sick, and for a company that doesn't really see you as a human being but as a cog in a machine that it can easily replace with someone else.

I mean, why would the fact that someone missed a rate by one or two boxes mean that someone can't teach or coach someone in how to do a process? I mean, is Gregg Popovich still an NBA player? No, he is coaching because he isn't physically able to play as well as NBA players at his age, so they have him as the coach of the Spurs, and he wouldn't get fired for not being able to run at the same rate as Dejounte Murray or Patty Mills.  Also, when none of your trainers are able to make the desired rates, what does that tell you about the rates?.  

Also, I don't understand how one is supposed to make a rate if there is no work coming towards them.  It makes no sense.          

I had some fantastic managers who really handled things fairly and actually listened to their associates (and a few not-so-good ones), and some moments where I really felt like my brain was being challenged in a positive way.  Not to mention I learned that I could do the really physical stuff with the biggest of big guys, and actually did a lot better with it than I thought I could, and a lot more of it than a lot of people did!   

I truly became a team player, as cliched as that sounds.  People wanted to work with me and they wanted to work around me, and even some of my most challenging co-workers and harshest critics came around to appreciate my value to the workplace, and all the nitty gritty things I did to contribute that weren't recorded on camera or anything for everyone to see.          

If today was my last day at Amazon, what a journey it has been.    I don't think I've ever laughed so much or cried so much at any single workplace.