I've been navigating through existential netherworlds lately. I guess sometimes I wonder why I do the things I do, but I think I just search for awesome things compulsively because there has to be something better than Maroon 5 out there. I am not special and I am really just searching.
I'll tell you how un-hipster I really am. Today my co-worker starting singing/humming "Moves Like Jagger" and I sort of wanted to smack him but I didn't, when I could have easily reacted negatively to that.
I also listened to some Barry Manilow compilation from the Hallmark store and a Marvin Gaye compilation from Kohl's of all places (despite the fact that I own What's Goin' On). Both of these items are owned by my mom, but she doesn't listen to them. I listened to both of these items out of laziness, because I didn't feel like getting up, turning on my computer, and listening to something on there. It really wasn't bad to listen to, but I am usually not someone who just listens to "whatever is lying around."
I think that most people don't seek to better themselves because they are lazy. I talked to my co-worker about my morning routine and how hard it is to drag myself out of bed, and how much self-talk I have to give myself in order to get up in the morning and not just go back to sleep and miss work after I turn off my alarm just because it is really cold out and I don't feel like getting up. I remember having a lot of issues in college with getting up for class and not wanting to go because of some combination of laziness and anxiety. I think I have resolved these issues, because now I get up extra early, and I go to things even when I am really nervous. I am never late, and I have a much more positive attitude than I once did.
Any day now, I shall be released! (to provide families with life insurance coverage.) hence the song selection. Apparently, it is originally by Bob Dylan, but I first heard it on Music From The Big Pink by the Band.
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